A little bit about myself
On this page you can read about where I'm busy with, what I do in my daily life, but there's also a piece of history ... Only it's a bit boring until now 'cause all this text, but in a meanwhile I'll crick up the layout with some pictures! Just click on the links below to come through this page ;-)
Who am I actually?
Where am I busy with?
Being visually impaired
Life in a blinds institution
Also nice things too!
The Theofaan area
The blinds institution's system, from quite Christian to a more free way of thinking & living
NO anti-teasing system
Excursions, group camps and project weeks
... And then ???
Ways with bendings, wisdom by observing
System Operator ... That's something differently :-)
On my way to freedom .....
Finding a job ... Not that difficult, but getting a job? Pffff!
From self development to freelance spiritual worker
Who am I actually?
... Actually this is something what I'm asking myself for a long time already, 'cause others do think they know a lot about you, but do they know something about themselves? And so yes, what do they know about theirselves? Probably this is as much as I know about myself, as that I know from others :-)
... If I may describe myself, I see myself being a happily crazy girl, born in 1975 and I'm nearly born in the elevator (from the hospital) and yes, I still do live a bit like a student in the student ages, allthough my age is some way above the adolescence I guess LOL! I made my decision for a path on which you can't and stay just standing still, so yes ... You'll get those things too ... Also people in my neighbourhood do sometimes have problems with it!
... But yeah ... Let's getting on some seriously from now on ;-) My name is Marielle Vaassen, I live together with some pets in a small house, with my clanny, and my hobbies? Well ... There are too many of them! A number of those things you'll find on the index page, being categorized 'cause otherwise no one can find a way through ... But actually, I never am bored, I never do actually :-)
Where am I busy with?
It's better to ask (myself) where I'm busy with, 'cause about this I can tell you a lot of things about. Actually I am a busy-with-everything-person-&-doing-a-lot, as you can read in the former piece of text I do have hobbies enough, but on a number of them I'll put a close up on this site. From a very young age I'm busy with pets, music, drawing, photography, computers, but also with spirituality ...
Those things which keep me on busy, are playing an important role into my life, 'cause they all are parts which actually belong to me, even from a very young age too! Certain things which I'm gonna deep out are real hobbies, other things belong in a more way to "the way of life", a shape of seeing life which has been shaped and developed within some time, and this isn't for nothing too! Well, now at first I'll give you some background information ...
Being visually impaired
When I was 2 months old people in my surroundings discovered that I was (and still am) dealing with visually impaireness. I'm not that type of person who just put a text on my front head that I do have a visually impaireness, allthough I easily can talk about it ;-)
When I was born I nearly was blind, but when I was 3 years old and I only could see for around 5 per cent with both eyes, I already knew that my left eye would be better and that my right eye would be worser. Actually that happened too, allthough nobody knew what my prognoses would be! Now I can see with my left eye for about 24 per cent and with my right eye I only can see 0.56 per cent ;-)
So I'm born with an eye nerve defect. So actually my eye nerves aren't developed yet and besides this I do have nystagmus (uncontroled eye movements 'cause eyes want to search for 1 point which they can't find, so you'll get "wiggling eyes", see for more specifiec information on Links) too, but actually I'm born with it, so actually and the fact is that I don't know better than it is just in this way and I can perfectly live with it, but if people ask me how and what I se, I just can make that clear with those pictures below and even those pictures are only some scraps from the real situation ...
Picture 1: Image like a person with a normal vision should see my little home.
Picture 2: Image, 24 per cent vision from my little home.
Picture 3: Image, 0.56 per cent vision from my little home.
Actually this picutres are rather in a fictive way somehow, 'cause I really don't see blurry or so, but I do see with moving image, so this is what you have to imagine that the image you see is moving which is comparable with a TV from where the image is moving, but than without snow between (so that's what it's called in Latin language nystagmus), but still I tried to put down the images in a as good as possible way, but that's quite difficult 'cause there are so many shapes & ways of being visually impaired ...
Since when I was a very young age I was involved with doctors, professors, pedagogists, orthopedagogists, psychologists and more from this sort of human beings who knows more about all this, and all this causes the fact that when I was 4 or so, I went to a special medical children's daycare (Tomteboe in Eindhoven) and when I was a basical school kid I went to a blinds institution in a village called Grave, in that time this institution was called Wijnberg, but later on the name was Theofaan, now it's named Sensis ... I mainly was on there when the blinds institution was in it's Theofaan Age, so that's why I use to talk oftenly about Theofaan, than I'm talking about Sensis or Wijnberg ... I've been on the basical school and on a school which is before the high school (MAVO) when I was on Theofaan ... Actually, this MAVO was also a special school which we call this VSO ... Voortgezet (so the school after the basical school) Speciaal (because it's special) Onderwijs (Well yeah ... That means just another word for school LOL!) ...
... Me on the picture when I was 7 years old or so ;-)
Life in a blinds institution
I lived with my parents until my 7th year and I did have a family life without sorrow, together with my father, mother, brother and some pets surrounding me, behalf I was on a medical children's daycare, so "there must be something special about me"! When I was 7 years old I went to Theofaan, the blinds institution in Grave, than, it still was called Wijnberg ... In the weekends I always went home and in the weeks I was in Grave. There were also children who went home on the Wednessdays and came back the Thursdays after in the morning, but I wasn't allowed to do this 'cause my parents always said they lived too far away and besides this my father had his own company on that time already ... Well ... My parents, mostly my mother used to bring me and to get me from the blinds institution.
The first time when I came in there I really thought something like: "What a huge place overhere!" Well, I came in a group with 15 children who all were much older than I was. I was only 7 years old, but the youngest one of the other children who came above me was already 13 years old, and the rest of them were older (around 15-16-17 years old!). The most of them were boys, but besides me there were only 2 other girls. We slept in a big sleeping department and between the boys and the girls was only a replacable wall. The boys did get the biggest part of the department, we, the girls, did have the smallest part. We did have a central cloth cupboard which was devided into smaller storage areas where we could put our clothes and I still remember that my mother always had to make name prints on my clothes to forecome that all the clothes would be changed with other clothes from others. Because the blinds institution was build on a wetland (and still it is) there were many mosquitos in Spring and Summer times and we did had such a mosquito lamp right in the middle of that sleeping department. That thing was giving ultra violet light and if a mosquito flew in you did hear this very cracky noise LOL!
We did have 4 guides and than we did have also 1 wing director who had to guide 1 wing, where 2 or 3 groups were into and which was a sort of side building which came out on a very tall and wide alleyway which was the building on it's own actually, and this alleyway we always called that one the "Grote Gang" which means "Big Alleyway" ...
Life on Theofaan wasn't that bad at all on it's own, but it really wasn't a ideal family situation, and this was something I did miss sometimes! At home I was used to take a sandwich, just put that one double and just ate it with my hands, on Theofaan you had to learn to eat with a knife and a fork and you had to eat at least 1 sandwich with meat and one with cheese and you were allowed to eat 1 or 2 sandwiches with sweet things on it. At home I could take orange or Coca Cola in the evenings, on Theofaan you did get this ranja (this sirop you have to lenght on with some water) or just tea, except when there was a group party or someone had his or her birthday or while there were disco evenings in Teike (the discotheque)! In the weeks I had to go to bed around 8 o'clock (especially when I was young but I still had to go to bed at 10 in the evenings when I was 18!), while I often went to bed at 10 o'clock when I was at home ... Well this were all such of small things you know ...
Also when you did have a problem actually, you couldn't go just to the guides to put down your problems there, 'cause there were still 15 children who needed their attention too in some way ... Not that I'm in that jealous thinking way, but I just did miss a way of warmth, this warmth I did know till my 7th ... There was a psychologist but half of the pupils from Theofaan walked in overthere every week, but, without wanting to attack psychologists as being human beings, they give their help from out of booklets, so there really wasn't that heart to heart help and care 'cause it wasn't that possible in their way 'cause things had to be and had to keep on going on in a pedagogic responsible way!
Also nice things too!
Surely there were also quite nice things to expire on Theofaan !!! Every year we did have an evening where musicians could show their abilities (those special music evenings), we did have a playbackshow, a Carnaval's party with very often a live band and the brassband from Grave and this "Raad van 11" (a group of 11 persons which contains also an adjudant and a Prince Carnaval), an Easter party, every 2 weeks we did have a disco party, ballroom dancing (like learning Quicksteps, Jives and so on), riding horses, children's choir, piano lessons, keyboard lessons, guitar lessons, we did have a band with basical school children and we did have a band for those teenage kids who were on the VSO, a percussion group, judo, chess, football (pool), showdown (a sort of pingpong game (table tennis) for blind persons), goalball (a sort of ball game for blind persons), wandering clubs, if there was ice in Winter times also skating, kanoeing, swimming, baking stone potts & vases, theater actor's clubs, an own internal radio station (Radio Troubadour) and a lot more to tell about for a while! Always there was something to do and this was rather cool in a way ...
I've been committing to many clubs, like just a short time on horse riding, but in a mainly way I did piano lessons, guitar lessons, children's choir, the school bands and drawing lessons to my part of the bill ;-) Later on I was also busy with being a member of a meditation club ...
Those music evenings where musicians could show their abilities were very busy times, 'cause I did so much on musical points LOL! Once I managed it that I was for about 5 times on stage on 1 music evening :-) All those music anekdotes you can read beneath the Art link ...
Further on we did have a Theofaan Day each 2 years. This was a sort of day with events and every thime there was another theme ... Like we had the theme Music, but also Circus, Transportation (from vihicles) and a lot of other things!
Further on we also did have a big playgarden and a children's farm where you could ride horses, but there were also goats and chicken and ducks and so on, pigeons, a big bird cage and you could take care for rabbits ... In very early times we did have a donkey ... Further on there was a glass house where you, besides you could plant some geraniums, you could plant vegetables too and there were a lot of woods, a number of ponds and also a river which is called the Raam and which goes right through the Theofaan area ...
The Theofaan area
The Theofaan area was and is a very huge one! Especially when I was a small kid for me it was so big and bombastic overthere! There was this Big Alleyway where there were those side wings connected with, and in each side wing there were 2 or 3 groups located. When you came in such side wing, you did have on your right side you did have the living rooms and the kitchens and on the left side you did have the toilets, the bath and shower rooms and in very early times there were those sleeping departments in the back of that place, but later on those departments were changed into a small alleyway with bedrooms, so everyone did get his or her own bedrom which was rather nice in my opinion, 'cause also those mosquito lamps dissappeared and were moved under the floors, 'cause beneath the Big Alleyway and those side wings there were also rooms, actually ... There is a rather catacomb system below there which is connected to those WW2 bunkers which are in the Theofaan woods on the Theofaan area! If you went out those side wings on the ends ('cause that's also a possibility) than you came out on a very long wanderer's path which goes along all those side wings ('cause it still does exist), and it goes from those glass houses to the reception, with side paths to the schools, but also to the children's farm and to the woods where those bunkers are ;-)
In those goup kitchens you could also cook, but mostly the dinner was prepared in a very big central kitchen which was located on one of the very ends from this Big Alleyway, like the personal's restaurant and the Civile Section was too and in earlier times the MAVO, VBO (so the schools just before the highschool but after basical school) and a school where you could also learn to make neat covers for books were also located in this section of the building and in those early years that I was on Theofaan on the blinds institution you did get in this flat also the Steffenberg ... The Steffenberg was an old people's house for visually impaired old ones and later on the Steffenberg was moved to Vught and I still remember that this Steffenberg was located in one of those flat towers on one of the ends of the Big Alleyway, but which one, I'm just forgotten ... Later on this flat tower near the central kitchen was partly used by the Regional Center. Overthere on the outside you did got those glass houses where those geranium plants & vegetables were in and if you went on back for a bit into this Big Alleyway, than, on your left side there was a side alley where some music lessons rooms were and also Leo van Ierland's room. Leo was Theofaan's activity manager in those times and right in the back of this alley there was the "Kring" which can be translated as the "Circle", which was called the "Kapel" (which means Chappel) in the Wijnberg Age, 'cause there, all those church ceremonies were also done, but also all those big parties like the music evening for those musicians and the Carnaval's party and so on. This "Kring", that was a hughe round shaped building which was made from wood and this glass-in-led (you know this colored glass art in windows) in the top and it has a really remarkable roof. In the back side of this "Kring" building, on the left side there was a real disco room with a bar and DJ table and a real dancing floor, and that was discotheque Teike ... Tei is the Limburg (which is a Dutch region) dialect for the name Theo, so the Limburg variant Teike means in Dutch Theootje which can be translated into English as "Little Theo" or "Lil' Theo" ;-) On the right side you did have another of such room, but a bit smaller, and this was the Silence room (well really contradictory LOL!) and in this room there were the advent preparences, but later on we had also overthere our meditation club ;-) You could also go upstairs in this "Kring" building and there was a story with the "Speel-o-theek" (which means something like Play-o-theque) where you could rent toys, games and so on ...
On the other end from this Big Alleyway there were 2 groups with children, actually young adolescense people, who had to learn to be more indipendent. Those groups did have the bedrooms in a flat. Before you reached those 2 groups, there was also a stairway to 1 story higher where you could go to the Health Care department, the reception department, the administration department and the director's department and overthere there were also the conference rooms ...
The blinds institution's system, from quite Christian to a more free way of thinking & living
When I came on Theofaan, we still lived in the Wijnberg Age, it still was called the Wijnberg in that time ... The Wijnberg was really Roman Christian orientated ... You had to pray before each meal and most times it was "Our Father In Heaven" or in Latin "Pater Noster", aw actually we did it always in Dutch, and after each meal we had to thank the Lord for the nice meal. Being a small, in a free way of living stage girl, I had to be used to it, 'cause allthough we were Roman Catholic at home, we didn't do that, praying actually! Besides this your presence was required with each Catholic happening in th "Kring" building, even if you were a Muslim too, and there were some Turkish and Marokkan pupils on school and on the blinds institution. In a mainly way they were dignitive to Turkish and Marokkan pupils, that really wasn't that problem at all, but Muslim girls weren't allowed to wear a veil! That wasn't possible actually ... As a Muslim being you could do the Ramadan, 'cause every year the blinds institution did manage some benefit things like sponsor athletics or some other benefit things which were related to help poor people in a typical Christian (by having first a gathering in the "Kring" building) way and this money went to (mostly to Africa related) foundation, but it was possible with some difficulties to do the Ramadan, but if there with the feast after the Ramadan, well the school's and blinds institution's director's departments were watching to the other direction if Muslim pupils were taking a day off ...
On the blinds institution we did have a sort of communication system too which was working via speakers in the ceilings and you did hear this through whole thig huge building everywhere! This system wasn't only used for to call certainly persons had to go to a certainly section or department of the building (reception, health care department, administration department) or that there was a telephone call for this certainly person, but every morning around the same time and most times this was repeated later on, in the day, and you did hear also messages which were related to civile matters or general messages, but TOO, and that really was funny, there are those messages who had his or her birthday that day or if there was a jubilee, and inthose early years I always was curious and just listening if they weren't forgetting me on my birthday LOL! Well yeah ... You'll just get that if you are a young and in a free way living little girl ;-)
In each group there also was a piano standing and in 1 group there even was a real church organ in their hobby room ... Sometimes I just sat there and just playing on that one, and than the volume of this church organ went up high! Well the neighbours didn't like that, I did ;-)
In those early years we did have a father as pastor/church leader, Piet Vermeer who was called Father Piet ... He was a quite tall, lankily, but also a stately old man and the blinds institution's children used to call him Father Snickers ... If you did a good job for him actually, he always gave you a Snicker, and if he didn't have one, you did get a Mars or a Nuts or a Bounty and in that times you did have a Twix already, but in those early years that one was called Raider ;-) He always was very attatched to everyone and he did his speaches with a very nice way with a lot of humor within and if there were children who did their first Communion, they were allowed to choose his church clothes and they just were allowed to explore Father Piet's garderobe and choosed something they liked ... Well ... Later on he left Theofaan and he had a job in Nijmegen in an old people's house for those who need high daily care and we have been singing and playing overthere too with the children's choir.
Wen Father Piet was gone, Rens Stobbelaar came in his place (but he left Theofaan too, some years a go). He was a pastor, and he was a well guy! From that time things became some looser ... The speakers' system went down and Rens was also the person who managed the meditation evenings! Actually he set up the meditation club ;-) We weren't forced to pray before every meal, but instead of this there was one minute silence ... Those church gatherings, they kept on staying, like the ability to get your Communions which were lead by some Roman Catholic decan ... I've been the house pianist on each church gathering in the "Kring" for years ... Something which kept on following me, even in the village where I live too where I was allowed to play in the church for years LOL!
The school was located on the Theofaan area, but apart from the blinds institution building, but in some certainly way they belonged to each others, it was on the same area, allthough those 2 buildings were kept apart by a small river the Raam, which is a side river from the Maas. Allthough actually the VSO (Voortgezet Speciaal Onderwijs) part (so actually the school system between the basical school and the highschool) was separate from the basical school but attatched on the blinds institution for a rather long time, later on this VSO department was moved to a new building near the basical school 'cause actually they build 2 extra wings on the basical school ;-)
The basical school was devided into 2 basical schools and a separate wing for those children who were just 4-5-6 years old, so the pre-basical school kids (there were only a few classrooms) ... Those 2 other basical schools which were attatched to each others, was one school for partly sighted basical school kids and one school for blind basical school kids ... Unfortunately, in those times I was on the basical school, blind children and partly sighted children were separated from each others, so it wasn't incorporated at all! When I was 9 years old I once asked at the school director, just when I passed her room actually, why those 2 schools weren't incorporated to each others, but she didn't know how to give me any sensible and useful answer ... The only thing she could say was "Well it's just better in this way, 'cause blinds do sometimes have other needs and they need in some ways more attention and time than partly sighted childen." I already was asking myself in that time in what way this way of thinking was correct, but well ... The 2 schools have been incorporated when I was in the first class from the MAVO (the pre-highschool, I was 14 years old when I went there.)!
The basical school for the blinds and the basical school for the partly sighteds did have separate playgrounds too, allthough we did share both gymnastics rooms. We did have a small gymnastics room and a big gymnastics room. The small gymnastics room was more used for small (like pre-basical school children and from the first few classes from the basical school) children, the big gymnastics room the older basical school childen as the pre-highschool (VSO) children came there, but we did have our non-school related sport clubs too and there have been a folk dance group for a long time (LOL! That's what I did too, like ballroom dancing what I did too, gheeh!) ... The small gymnastics room was located near the wing where the pre-basical school classrooms were, just between the school for the blind children and the school for the partly sighted children, but the big gymnastics room was located in the part which was belonged to the school for the partly sighted children, right above the swimming pool, 'cause we did have a swimming pool! That swimming pool was just a normal one where you could swim from the undeap to the deap parts and there we did get swimming lessons and if you want kanoe lessons too, but often there was also free swimming ;-)
The number of pupils in the classes always have been very small, oftenly there were no more pupils as 8 pupils each class, allthough we were with 13 classmates in the last 2 groups (Group 7 and 8)! In my opinion, the school education was very well. Besides those mainly and default lessons like learning language and writing, counting, history, geography and biology, we did get gymnastics, swimming lessons, things like sewing & knitting, but on each Friday we did have School TV Week Journal (just the Dutch news for basical school children with some discussions (par example about politics afterwards) and we did have a real multimedia room where TVs were standing and also a dia projector ('cause we do speak about the time that we were living in the Commondor 64 Age LOL!), besides that we did get music lessons, drawing lessons and for the blind children to learn to use a kane for their orientation par example. What in my opinion was a very good thing was that they did everything to give everyone a certainly knowledge in their life, 'cause also blind basical school kids did get just biology lessons and there was a huge vitrine cupboard full with prepared real animals like small mammals and birds, but also like some huge zoomed in copies of insects and also half cuts from it and so on, so in my opinion this was very well ;-) Only it was a pity in my opinion that they just watched too much to someone's behaviour to find out and to judge what someone's learning ability was, but yeah ... Further on the school education system wasn't that wrong at all, and I've learned much overthere if you are talking about the school education system!
Besides the lessons which were mainly good, there was much attention on ergenomic points, 'cause they did have special tables which you could put on your school table which did have the ability to pull up and push down the table blade where you were working on so that you could work in a better way being a partly sighted being 'cause you hadn't to bend over all the time to read, some of us did have a special lamp, others didn't, so also in this way the school wastaking account with you, and they did even more if you were able to tell them your desires! That last thing wasn't that problem for me at all :-)
Further on we did have a Sports Day, both internal (especially for the basical school children) as external too (for the VSO (so the pre-highschool kids). We mostly did have those internal Sports Days on the Theofaan area, 'cause we did have a sports area outside where you could do athletics and so. The Sports Days from the pre-highschool kids (VSO) were more national orientated and they were organized together with other blinds institutions (mostly together with Bartimeus and Visio), and this was also fun 'cause the very best pupils did get a medaille (and especially with athletics we did have a few ones who were VERY good at it, like this Omar, that was a really talle African guy, par example LOL!). Each year we did have this Sports Day on another location ... Par example we have been in Zwolle and in Zeist on the Bartimeus area, but this Sports Day has been organized on the Theofaan area too certainly times. I never was and am such a good one into sports :-)
Further on we did get this school milk (which tasted like paperboard and plastic sometimes, gheeh!) in such plasticised small cups with aluminium lids, that was in my basical school time ... "Melk De Witte Motor" which means "Milk the white motorbike", 'cause they thought we had to live as healthy as possible and talking about this subject they were watching you in a sharply way, on medical base ... In my opinion too sharply sometimes .....
NO anti-teasing system
Allthough there was nothing wrong with the school education system in my opinion, 'cause this one always has been well, there wasn't any anti-teasing system on Theofaan ... Their way of thinking was just like: "To tease somebody doesn't hurt, it's only just teasing." and besides this there was a difference between if you were teased on school or if you were teased on the group (blinds institution), 'cause if you had a problem on school, you had to solve this one on school by going to the school director, if you had a problem on your group, than you had to solve this problem by going to your guides or just you could go to the wing director or talk to the psychologist (from who I do have the idea that she was used like a sort of pingpong ball)! At the other hand this system was in such a curved way, that the school actually did inform the guides and your parents and also that the guides informed your parents and the school too if there was something wrong, so it wasn't at all that things were that going in a fair way ... Except that this system was somehow a curved one in a negative way, I don't know that many parents too who will say to their kids that if they are teased on school that they have to solve this problem with their teachers and school director and that they can't solve this problem at home ... I would go, as being a parent, go to school to ask the teacher or even at the school director what's wrong and I even will call the parents from those teasers by phone to ask what's wrong with their kid, but yeah ... They wanted to find the easiest ways into things! So only if you talk about this point of view as a kid being I discovered that life on a blinds institution was somehow different as life at home with a family .....
I often have been teased and neglected by other kids when I was a kid, as I was teased on basical school, as on the MAVO (pre-highschool), but because there was no good working anti-teasing system, I quickly did get the idea that I couldn't go anywhere to someone with my problems ... Nowadays in daily life it has some advantages, but there are disadvantages too ... At first hand you will be be careful who you can trust or who not and you were just allowed to learn things about society by walking through walls and bumping into things ('cause it is a bit the idea like the "survival of the fittest"), at the other hand you just bump against you past, just BECAUSE you had to do everything by your own, just BECAUSE they never have been taken you seriously and just BECAUSE you were used like a pingpong ball in your childhood! Being a young kid I already knew too where things were gonna get to if there shouldn't be a well working anti-teasing system ... When I already knew it I was a 9 years old kid, since 10 years, a well working anti-teasing system does exist overhere in the Netherlands for schools, but in my opinion that one had to come 10 years there for, 'cause in that time I already could give persons this piece of text above to read, I already could give them this piece of wisdom ... I did gave those wisdoms to the psychologist, but she couldn't do anything with it, only listening and seeing things from out of her psychological (job) perspective and way of working and often (not seeing it from out of a fully shaped way and mostly from out of booklets) also handle like that way too .....
Excursions, group camps and project weeks
In those times that I was on the blinds institution Theofaan we did went to group camps and so on. On each group on the blinds institution it was different ... The one group did organize a yearly party which was one big party, the other group did have a yearly group camp. Further on there always was the ability to visit a museum with one of the guides ... With just a small club or just with 2 persons together ...
On basical school we didn't go camping that often, it oftenly was also differently arranged per class or just per 2 classes, but in an earlier way we'd rather go to have a one day excursion ... Actually I was on a school camp only when I was in the 3rd group, but also later when our school had a jubilee we have been to "Het Vennebos" in Hapert (CenterParcs) ... Than we went overthere for a week with the partly sighted department from the basical school which was really nice.
On the VSO the story was somehow different ..... One year we would go to the Harz mountains in Germany ... Than we did go on Winter sports and one group went on skiing and the other group went on langlaufing and we always slept in this Eichfelder Hütte where Herr Schtahmer was the owner of it, the other year the first 2 classes from the VSO went to somewhere in the region Zeeland in the neighbourhood of Renesse, and the classes 3 and 4 went to London or to Paris ... So this was each year differently, so I've been in the first class of the MAVO (pre-highschool) to the Harz mountains, in the 2nd class I went to Zeeland, in the 3rd class I went to the Harz mountains again and in the 4th class I went to Paris ... Well this were times I never will forget! We always made a lot of fun with all of us and one time when we were in Paris par example, we did get all those vagrants and homeless Parisians happily crazy in those metro stations and really they did have one unforgetable evening, but yeah ... That's not that strange if there's walking a group of 40 youthly and nearly drunk (because of the white wine) human beings passing through the metro station and who was singing all the time, and this clan was leaded and guided by 4 of those musical mad ones which called themselves Jumanian (inclusive me, 'cause I was one of those musical mad ones, but those stories you can find beneath the Art link :-) ) LOL!
Overhere a picture of me when I was around 16 years old or so ;-)
... And then ???
... After I did the MAVO (so pre-highschool education), so I did that one in Grave on the VSO too, I went to the HAVO (which is nearly simular like highschool) ... For me the MAVO wasn't any problem at all, I have been the usually 4 years on the MAVO and I did it also within the usually 4 years time and my examens I did were Dutch, English, French, Maths, Biology, History and Music, so that were 7 education things, all I did on D level which is the highest level on the MAVO and I succeeded all those 7 education things!
This HAVO was somehow more difficult! I never had been having lessons together with so many class mates, 'cause on the MAVO the tallest number of class mates was something like 10 class mates ... On the HAVO we sometimes with 34 class mates in one classroom! I went to the Hertog Jan College in Valkenswaard 'cause this school was well to travel by bus ...
Besides I was went to a regular school, I went on living with my parents at home, and this really was a big step, a step which was emotional very hard for me, but yeah ... I still had the wish to go to the Academy of Music, so I neede the HAVO to get on there.
The HAVO school was a nice school on it's own and the most teachers were also okay, besides this, the HJC (Hertog Jan College) was famous by the big parties which were given oftenly, mostly the Carnaval's party, sometimes also a karaoke party too but also an open stage, a musical and oftenly also a song festival and an "End-Of-The-School-Year-Party". Besides this we did have several activities when it was around Saint Nicholas time and so we had a sort of drinking party with the highest classes and mostly there came someone dressed like Saint Nicholas and I still know that once one of the teachers, Sir Dollekamp came dressed like Saint Nicholas LOL! The most nice thing of all was that also the most pupils did come on those parties (there were 1100 pupils on the HJC school) and mostly of the time also half of the teachers which came too, 'cause even the conrector Miss Lemmens wasn't party allergic at all, gheeh! On Theofaan things were some different, 'cause only those die hards were coming ;-) The rest of those MAVO teachers weren't such of those party animals, but on the HJC those things were somehow differently going on ...
Another nice thing was to discover, that we did have teacher couples TOO on the HJC LOL! On the MAVO on Theofaan we had par example Mr. Stouthandel who gave History, Drawing, German and Economics and his wife Mrs. Stouthandel who gave Cooking lessons, class docent (mentor) lessons and things like Daily Life Activity stuff. We did have also Mr. Spoorendonk who gave Maths and Economics and his wife Mrs. Spoorendonk who gave Cooking lessons and Dutch ... On the HJC they know about all this too! We did have Mr. De Waal who gave French and Mrs. De Waal who gave History lessons, and we did have also a completely historical couple ... Mr. and Mrs. Dijkema, which we used to call them Dijkepa and Dijkema in a crazy way LOL! Than we did have a Mrs. Van Tongeren who gave Biology lessons and her brother, Mr. De Bruin, was one of the Gymnastics teachers on the HJC ;-) Also in the catering service a couple was working overthere ..... Peer (the alternative name from Peter) and Mientje as we always used to call them ...
Besides this we did have project (camping) weeks too, but actually this was mostly for the 4th class of the HAVO pupils 'cause those classes were mostly composed by pupils who were on the HJC already and pupils who came from other schools ... The pupils from the rest of the classes didn't actually go off for a project week ... The reason to have those project (camp) weeks for the 4HAVO pupils actually was because to know each others better and mostly we did have a survival camp in the Belgium Ardennes ;-) There was also the capability for 4HAVO and 5VWO pupils to go, on full volunteerly base actually, to have another extra project (camp) week and you mostly could choose between 2 cities and in the time I was on the HJC those cities were London and Florence ... So I did 2 times 4HAVO, and the first year I went to Florence, the 2nd year 4HAVO I went to London LOL! The pupils who went to Florence they more had an artful vacation, the pupils who went to London did have also some artful subjects in their vacation, but just more fixed on the nice atmosphere of Londen itself. We actually did visit some musea, but we did also walk the Jack The Ripper route in London and so on .....
Ways with bendings, wisdom by observing
Because the step from the blinds institution to the HJC was rather too big (I've been on this blinds institution Theofaan from my 7th till my 18th year so I really never have been living in a family situation like other persons do know a family situation and because I've been raised up in such a protective way AND because I only learned to see a misshaped image from society, so actually dogmatisation, in what Theofaan never succeeded in a full way trying to dogmatize me actually LOL!), I couldn't fight myself through my HAVO period ... Besides all this there came also a thing along that I was frightened every day that some things which have been occured in the past at home would be repeated, so actually I did live in a way of anxious ...
I was rather going up very fast with spiritual growing aspects and I sometimes went to psychic's fairs, and so on I bumped against my first real boyfriend Raoul! In a meanwhile I started with another study, 'cause when I couldn't reach the Academy of Music because not being able to finish the HAVO, why not doing first an MDGO Activity Management study, to go afterwards for a study Music Therapist, to go after that study to the Academy of Music? :-)
At the Activity Management study I was in a class with only girls as class mates and we were with 15 girls. On it's own it was a nice club of girls, however I did have the feeling sometimes that they were pretending to be social among each others ... My first impression when I came in this school for the first time was something like: "Wowy, this building has a positive atmosphere, but something and somewhere in some way it doesn't fit at all, but the problem doesn't belong to the school building itself." Besides all this I went on doing this study 'cause I needed that one to come on a further musical way, 'cause I did want that too much!
In the first week I was there we had a sort of familiarisation week and we did also a project too, the Prehistoric Age, and we went on body painting and we made all kinds of primitive things. We did have 3 first classes and each class was a group of primitives which presented an element ... So we did have a "Fire" group, an "Earth" group, and a "Wind/water" group ... Well that was funny on it's own and the week after we did have a project (camping) week and this one was in Someren (which is a village in Brabant, a region in the Netherlands), but on it's own all this was rather cool, except when a few ones wanted to go on turning glasses! 4 of my class mates couldn't sleep anymore afterwards, but they could sleep for 3 hours actually ... I couldn't actually, 'cause I wasn't affraid at all, but for me this was a very important test from uphigh! I'll tell you more about all this beneath the Spirituality link ;-)
Not that long after we came back from this project (camping) week, I went on living together with Raoul and this was in his flat 'cause I couldn't stand it anymore at my parents' place and in that year much happened, like my first and oldest doggy Muppy came on my pathway! But in a real way feeling home in a flat? No, that wasn't possible for me .....
In March 1996 I went for a jobstage in an old people's house with special care in Veldhoven and on it's own this was cool! The persons where I was working for as a stagiaire Activity Management were all old people who had also physical problems too and I was allowed to feed an old woman who was 96 years old in that time, and I was also allowed to give her something to drink the problem was only that I never had been doing this before I went there on jobstage, so I asked my jobstage consulent who was the Activity Manager from that department of the old people's house how I had to do this, give this old woman hot coffee ... "Oh" my jobstage consulent said "just throw it backwards in her throat." While she went further reading those advertisements in the newspaper about persons who died and indeed she just threw hot coffee just backwards in the throat of another old woman, not really looking afterwards to her and after she gave this old woman for the 4th time her coffee she asked this woman if the coffee was nice tasting and if it wasn't too hot! Well I was astonished, but the same time I asked my jobstage consulent if this was a normal way of handling, I mean, I can imagine that we don't drink our coffee actually if this one is too hot, but yeah ... My jobstage consulent her opinion was that I said some rude, brutal and asocial words to her, but yeah ... In the Dutch health care system, time is money and a person who needs care is a number, without any empathy! If you just watch to what those people have got to doin a whole week too, than you'll find out this is every morning reading together the newspaper and have some discussion about the news and the other things which are in it, well and I can imagine they will do that, but for someone who's blind and nearly deaf, like that woman I gave food, this doesn't get any sense! In the afternoons every day there was something different, but week in, week out, they were the same things on the same days, but on the Thursdays this was always music and yeah ..... For me, this was something like having a whole hump of cheese to eat all alone of it LOL! So I took my GEM WS2 with me, like my equalizer too, and just play! On that day, there was also a party for a stagiaie who finished her jobstage and half of this old people's club who also came in the activity room to have their activities went to that party, but one by one they felt sorrow they went there while staying in the activity room 'cause there was live music in the activity room and they heard about it after all this that they liked it very muchy 'cause this was sounding nice and besides that it was something different as usually, 'cause the other house mates and neighbours told them 'cause they just stood in the activity room! Some of them who went to that other party even were a bit upset and a little bit angry 'cause why I didn't tell them anything about live music? Yeah! It had been also a very nice day that afternoon, so warm and easy going I've got to tell you though and you saw those old human beings getting up more happy! I'll never forget the end of this week too when I was leaving ... Allthough I just was a stagiaire Activity Management and this week was a jobstage week to get some impressions too, those old people already called me nurse overthere, like this 96 years old woman who sat there in her wheelchair, blind and nearly deaf and with enclampsed hands and who I gave food and to drink for 1 week, did too ... "Thank you nurse" she said "thank you very much for being there and help me, it was so nice that you were here, I feel sorrow that you are leaving!" Well it was getting warm inside, I felt warmth coming up and I nearly was crying somehow, but I was glad that I could give a piece of Positivity and Warmth to those old souls, allthough I needed quite a lot of years of awareness that it does work out in this way ... But I know, that when someone hasn't been happy with you at all, this person won't thank you in that intense way, when this person find out that you do and see things only from out of the financial business perspective and not from out of Love, just feel empathic with this person and push this person in an honestly way to all things, in this situation daily activities and so not just throw hot coffee in someone's throat, this person surely won't thank you so intensely afterwards ... SEAMS to work like that, but who am I? While I did this jobstage I already did get the feeling and I was able to see several things which were (and still ARE) going on in the Dutch health care system, and I was getting very worried about all this, just feeling sorrow for it! Had those things to go like this in this direction?
In a really fast way I discovered that this Dutch social system wasn't that social at all like the people who were working in this scene did show themselves up, my feeling was that they were just a messed up corrupt group of unco-ordinated human beings which were working on that school, like the conrector was too overthere 'cause she did have a big part in it ... The could have a positive ambience and vibration, those peope, nothing wrong actually with those ladies from the kantine (catering) 'cause they were REALLY great, werentt that positive at all .....
From Kempenpoort, 'cause that was the name of this MDGO school, I went to a project to choose for a job related study and this project was a 6 weeks lasting project, but the most jobs weren't that attractive to me actually ... I did know in the last week that I did this project that a System Operator study would be my path to choose! The most class mates were nice persons actually, and talking about this those 6 weeks were the most great ones of my life, also seeing it from out of a spiritual growing perspective! To read pics very well started to came up in a very nicely way, gheeh!
System Operator ... That's something differently :-)
After I had been hanging around at the MDGO school studying Activity Management for about half a year, I had been bumped in this project to choose for a job related study and finally I made the choice to go for a System Operator's study, 'cause computers were already attractive to me for a long time and besides this I did get this idea that computers would be very important in the future! Music therapy, so also the Academy of Music were swept away from my pathway, but yeah .....
Finally I went to the RIVB (Rijks Instituut voor Vak- en Beroepsonderwijs which means State Institute for Job Education) school and I did there my MBI (Medewerker Beheer Informatiesystemen which means something like System Operator Worker) study. This education was an ECABO study (EConomisch en Administratief Beroeps Onderwijs which means EConomic and Administrative Job Education), nowadays those studies from the RIVB are merged, like those Kempenpoort studies also do, together with the ROC (Regionaal Opleidings Centrum, which means Regional Study Center) ... I went 1 time per week to school and the other 4 days I went, at first point to a company orientation project, 'cause I found out I didn't have enough practical experiences with having jobstages.
My class mates were all boys, and they were a bit younger then me too! Since some time than, I lived together with Raoul and besides Muppy, we did have a Golden Retriever from a dog asylum (kennel) too, but allthough those asylum (kennel) workers told us that this doggy was somehow dominant, he was affraid being dominant to my tiny Muppydoggy LOL! At first I went besides my study to a company orientation project, 'cause I discovered that I did have too less experience to go for a jobstage and so on ... On it's own this project was a good one and I learned much, but it was somehow a pitty that there were such class mates who liked to shoot with paper pieces and I couldn't learn all those things I wanted to learn ... Well .....
In the first time, we did have our lessons in a very old wooden building for need ... The nicest thing was, that when I told my dad about this, he was wondering himself that this building STILL was standing upright, 'cause in that time when he did a study for heather technician (someone who repairs heathers actually), this building already was an old and leak building and the roof already were leaking everywhere in all those classrooms, and that already was in the end of the 60s, begin 70s when he studied there LOL! Later on we went to have our lessons in an old business building, 'cause that old wooden building for need was going to die 'cause it became leaker and leaker, gheeh! The new school building still wasn't finished in that time, and this became later also the new ROC building ...
On it's own this System Operator's Age (this period of time) was a nice time actually, allthough some boys though it was needful sometimes to show themselves against a woman, ghehehe! Theoretically seen it was a problem in a some way, 'cause I was much better in that, then in a practical way, 'cause with theory I did get good notes, while those boys who wanted to show up themselves in that way 'cause they thought that was needful to do, they often did get bad notes, gheeh! But, I can tell everyone that I did have MS-DOS lessons TOO, gheeh, quite prehistoric too!
Further on I had to write a scription for school and well, the subject was that you were allowed to choose what you want, if computers were involved! Once I've been in The House Of The Future which is somewhere in Noord Brabant (a region in the Netherlands), after that I've been with the System Operator's class to The Company Of The Future (also a building where you see how a company, in this case an office, in the future should be) too, so, with all those experiences I did have with the Dutch health system, and even using the fact that I was in a fast going spiritual growth, I went on writing a 53 page counting scription about The Hospital Of The Future ... Actually, the teachers lost my scription when they were moving to their new building, buteuhm ... It doesn't matter for me at all, 'cause this thing will come on their way again! Let's bet someone will read it and he or she will see that in a meanwhile many things came out in an anxiously way (many facts are already) ..... ;-)
After doing half a year this company orientation project, I went for my jobstage to the College Asten-Someren, which name later on turned into the Varendonck-College ... The first time that I came into this school building, together with one of the company orientation project teachers, I already KNEW that this was okay, it was feeling good and I knew TOO that I would get this jobstage, even BEFORE we did have an jobstage examination with the school director! How this story goes in a fully way, you can read beneath the Spirituality link LOL! This jobstage was a nice jobstage on it's own actually and on it's own the collegues were nice too, like the pupils were, allthough handling a classroom with 30 first class HAVO pupils (11, 12, 13 year olds) was a bit hard sometimes LOL! Also I was going fast with my spiritual growth in this time, and reading photos, like using a pendula to dowse water under the ground which is negative was really easily going on ;-) But yeah ... Now, I've got to tell you some anekdotes, gheeh!
Every week I had to change for about 5 times an ink cartridge in the ICT classroom 'cause that one was empty. We did have 4 printers, so that it was a regular happening that some cartridge was empty, 'cause there were also 18 computers using those 4 printers ... Actually some day the situation was, that the ink cartridge from the school director Mr. Verrijt was empty ... Well yeah ... That just can happen too, but okay ... I was in a really happy mood that I was allowed to change the school director's cartridge ... I went with my jobstage consulent Jacques to ask him a new cartridge, so I did get one and I went to the school director ... I pulled out his old cartridge out of his printer and I packed out the new one, just shaked with that new one, test strip on the ink head side and watching if there was coming ink on it, but, this test strip kept on staying white ... Pffff! Again just shaking with that cartridge thing ... AGAIN no ink on the test strip ... Again I went on shaking, but still this test strip wasn't turning black ... But ... I discovered that my hands started to become wetty in a somehow way and I though: "Oh, oh, it shouldn't be?!" I just watched my hands and yeah! That cartridge seamed to be really leak and the worst thing of all was that I couldn't find the hole where it was leaking ... Yikes! On that very same moment, the school director came into his room ... I: "Shihit, that thing is leak! I've got ink all over my hands YARRRGGGH!" Mr. Verrijt: "Yeah ... Euhm ... And I guess my office chair is full of ink too ... Like my papers which I've got to post actually are also ..." I really was nearly green of shaming, 'cause this sort of things only happened me ALL THE TIME! Happily after all he still did have his letters on his computer saved, like the office chair damage was nihil too and even more happily after all his high poled white carpet which was on the school director's room on the floor saved from ink specks ... Pffff! Annemie who worked for the Civile department in this school had to come with a vacuum cleaner to clean everything ... And the most worst thing of all was that it was her birthday that day and that there was only 1 f(beep)ing small shitty-itty-pitty hole in that cartridge and that I still had to build it in from Jacques .....
... Another nice anekdote is that time that we went with all the school personal to Maastricht to have a day off together ... Maybe it is some way of being superstitious, but I really believe in it, that, if a knife falls down without a purposive way, you'll get money ... The teacher who gave Music wasn't such a believer into this, but on the end of that day even HE couldsn't deny that some things just are that way like they are LOL! In that afternoon we did have a lunch at first in a restaurant which was on top of the Sint Pietersberg (which is actually a hill LOL!), which was really cool on it's own, especially the panoramic sight, but dumb and clumzy me couldn't help it again that I throw down a knife not in a purposive way actually ... "Aha" I said in a happy way "There is someone overhere who will get money today!" whereon the answer from the Music teacher Franssen was: "Oh no you always being so superstitious with your superstitious things." whereon I said: "Well, this day isn't finished yet, so we shall see huh, gheeh!" That morning we did have an excursion in the Maastricht caves and that afternoon we went on some shopping and the men off course went on drinking beer on the terrasses, so also this Mr. Franssen, with the same persons as who were on our same table where Mr. Franssen and I were sitting on with lunch. I watched Mr. Franssen and I watched behind him and what did I see?! A paper of 10! Again I said: "Hey mister Franssen, I don't want to say that I always am right with my superstitious thoughts, but I were you, I should turn myself 180 degrees backwards 'cause there just goes a paper of 10!" Franssen watched me in some paranoia way to me, but he turned around 'cause what if ... And yeah ... There indeed was going a paper of 10! He took that paper of 10 and watched me with really big and surprising eyes because of astonishment, but I only did have some giggling eyes, gheeh! "Gosh men, just take another one I only can say to you, just nice that piece of money, 'you just can have another round beer with that, ghehehe!" I said, and I just walked further on LOL! This good ol' man NEVER EVER talked again about "my superstitious thoughts" :p
Finally I succeeded my examinations System Operator's study, allthough I was better in doing theory than the practical things, 'cause I found out that I did have too less System Operator's experience ... Something which wasn't that well for finding a job, but yeah .....
On my way to freedom .....
... Wile I was doing the System Operator's study it went not that good at all between Raoul and I ... I couldn't used to it on the fact that I was living on a flat and he had some irritations on me and besides this I lived there together with him in a bit illegal way, so it was for me the way of meaning that I had to find something for myself, only yeah ... In the Netherlands, finding in a fast way a house isn't that easy at all, so I had to live for 3 months at my parents' place with some anxiety again ...
My parents as my ambulant counseler (I had an ambulant counseler since I were on the HAVO school) as the psychologists and pedagogists from the Regional Centrum Theofaan (what is called now Sensis, and this centers are especially to help visually impaired persons) though it was better for me when I should live own my own with guides who take care of me, but I actually didn't have any good feelings about all this ... I was tired of all those people who wanted to overrule me and taking over my life and I wanted to fly out. Houses especially for visually impaired persons like you have in Vught, Weesp and Ermelo, just speaking about that, weren't any good alternatives for me, 'cause however they talked in a positive way about those kinds of foundations, I really did have another feeling about them all! The fact that you are living in such a house with AGAIN those guides who decided FOR you what is good or what is not, and not make decisions WITH you, and besides that I did really had a strong feeling that half of my dossier what was already existing, there wasn't that much truth in it ... It went that far (really owe to someone who was a good frind of mine and who's name is Inge!) that I told the Regional Center Theofaan that I surely would find them if I need a new tool because of my visually impaireness like glasses or so, but I told them too that I really wasn't that trustful about their way of acting AND I still AM very untrustful about the fact that their pedagogic and psychologic system and way of acting is going in strange ways! Well that was just fighting against 7 human beings who were against my opinion about all this, but for me it wasn't hurting at all 'cause I HAD TO choose for my feelings, for my intuition, and surely I STILL did not REGRET this! After 3 months living at my parents' place and after I pulled a house urgention out of the house rent corporation, I did get this little home where I'm still living in for about 9 years already ;-)
For Muppy and for myself this was a way to freedom, such a new place! It was August 1997 when I did get this house ;-) FINALLY freed from all those guidence where I didn't ask for and so on, where I just have been involved with for YEARS, and who, besides they did have good advices, just WEREN'T there when I REALLY needed them, 'cause finally I had to do all things by MYSELF in my life, 'cause I really didn't and I still don't have the feeling that they took me seriously all thouse years ... So for me I was just finished with them .....
Because I still had the idea I would have a job one day, but ESPECIALLY I'm so freaked up with Shih Tzus too, in October 1997 my 2nd doggy Molly came to live with us ;-) Muppy and Molly were not such good friends in the beginning (the first 6 weeks) but after all they became very close friends together! Further on I still did have a good friendship with Raoul.
Finding a job ... Not that difficult, but getting a job? Pffff!
... And there we lived in our home, Muppy, Molly and I, having my MAVO and my System Operator's papers, and so I went on watching advertisements, like I did the same by going to the office which do have jobs, but yeah ... Still and again nothing nopes nada .....
Finally I bumped into this Roberttel callcenter study bia a friend who came back on my way again, but also via my ambulant counseler, and this was a rather and somehow strange study for to become a Callcenter Agent from well, this Robert Coppes Foundation which also have some houses for visually impaired persons in Vught ... It was a 3 months lasting study and I went on working for the Liliane Foundation (which is a foundation to help disabled children in 3rd World countries), in it's own it was a good goal to work for and I did like that job actually and it was very cool for me, but those teachers ... No ... In my opinion they were TOO short sighted and dogmatic and yeah ... I couldn't help it though that I found out how this database pragram Archie worked within 2 days actually! You'll gonna get that if you are a System Operator, and if you just don't disturb other collegues or class mates or just eating out of your nose, but you just are sitting in an easily way behind your PC just reading the brochures from the company or foundation for where you gonna work for, in this case the Liliane Foundation, what's wrong with that? Well, the teachers thought differently about that, and yeah ... It really kicks you down if those ones who get this (inofficial) paper they do get a bunch of flowers, but you didn't get any 'cause you don't have this (inofficial) piece of paper, but you HAVE TO be there ... This mankind is sometimes too regorous without knowing what the sense of Light really is .....
After all this I went on doing a refreshment study for Windows 98 and Microsoft Office too with also a kind of helpdesk worker study besides this, and on it's own this was a great study, allghough the company didn't accept me to have me as one of them, but I learned from this, but again I was better in the theoretical part than in the practical part ... Well .....
Finally, the UWV GAK (the state foundation from which I do get my monthly money 'cause I'm visually impaired) found out that it was too hard to get me on having on working and having a job, so they managed that I was uncoachable for work and I've got to tell you that I did have a really nice talk with Mr. Wim Sanders who was my job specialist in those times! Allthough this appointment had to last only for half an hour, we had a talk together for about 2 hours and at the end of this talk, the last song was that I did have the feeling that I was some kind of Mona (one of a Dutch famous magazine's authors from the thread "Mona has Wisdom" where she helps desperate persons) ... Actually, for both of us, as for Wim as for me, it brings us insights and about 1 thing we SURE were agreed too: This society won't make things like this any better or easier!
From self development to freelance spiritual worker
The fact that I don't have job like most of us have in this society and some of them dos see this as I'm just a state jerker that doesn't have any effect on my anymore ... In the beginning if was very hard for me that I never should come on the Academy of Music, that I don't get a job in an easily way as being a System Operator and that I'm now uncoachable for work, but when time went by I was allowed to grow, I was able to find out by experiences what I can do and what is not possible for me! This is sounding maybe some in a cliché and dogmatic way in many ears, especially in those ones who are impaired or disabled too, but I really and liturally don't see this like something which is cliché and dogmatic, but just it is like I expire this and like I'm ABLE to have this experience!
While I was seeking for ajob I never sat still, far away from that even, 'cause I rarely am bored actually and I do have enough hobbies to do! 2 years after my Molly came on my pathway, Jessy, my 3rd doggy came on my pathway ... In 2001 she did have a litter of puppies, and I did enjoy this, but I learned from this TOO, and this same thing counts for my 4th doggy Beauty who came on my pathway in 2002 and had a litter of 2 puppies in 2004!
Besides this I started to develop in a spiritual way since my 15th and 2004 was an important year for me! Because I was on a benefit psychic's fair reading photos in Delft I came on the insight that I AM allowed to work with this, and that I do have different abilities with it too! I just let me guide by the spiritual world in a fully way, and yeah ... There can be a possibility that there just came this sort of jobstage project on your way in July 2005, the Weert project!
Actually I haven't to search for a job anymore ... There's work to enough to do everywhere around me! My spiritual masters are my bosses too, those ones I am allowed to help they are the ones who "give me a job to do" ... The only disadvantage is that I'm fed up with the Dutch society a bit 'cause I'm just growing out of that one and this can bring some problems with it, but, isn't it that I always have been feeling myself like a stranger on this planet?
Talking about music, I'm getting more developed too ... I'm busy with compiling a demo CD with New Age music ... A part of thisalready is downloadable from this site ... Somewhere I know, really somewhere I know, that this is gonna work out great, actually ... It's gonna be allright!
Why Academy of Music? Why System Operator? Why Callcenter Agent? If you finally will end up into being a spiritual worker, allthough those every experience I had just didn't make me any more dumb at all ... Finally I believe there is a karma in a surely way which brings us to the goal or destination where we are allowed to come or to arrive!
... Now I live together with my clanny (my doggies Muppy, Molly, Jessy & Beauty and my kitty Cheeta who came into my life too), still in this same home and besides I do have some plans somewhere, I'm having some business with some things so on, a lot of those things you'll find on this site! I just can say to you: Just browse around overhere and just expire the this lot of information, just good to learn, nice, sometimes emotional too!
Just be welcome!